"Only Animals Eat in the Subway!"

Okay, so...I totally understand the sense of urgency that builds when you're running late to work in the morning.  Personally I hate being rushed, so I make it a point to always leave myself enough time to get everything done at a casual pace, but trust me I get it - I, too, have an affiliation for the snooze button.  I also understand putting off some "morning must-haves" in order to get out the door in time.  Putting on make up is totally doable while in-transit.  However, while confined in a small, inescapable place, the LAST thing i want to look at and listen to is someone eating.

For example, this is how my morning started: Monday, 8:05AM. I arrived to the crowded downtown 6 platform as a train was pulling into the station. Using my powers of positioning, I of course got on the train and moved to the middle of the car - prime standing placement compared to others squeezing into the doorway.  No one has any room to breathe, as per usual during morning rush hour, but that's okay - I'm checking my work emails and preparing myself for another M-F. All of a sudden, I hear next to me the type of rustling you only ignore in movie theaters, when you're probably rustling as well.  I coyly look to my right, and standing there is some mess of a woman with a Venti in one hand and unwrapping a muffin with the other.  I can't describe how quickly my frustration flared.  This woman was chewing loudly, trying to balance herself on an overcrowded moving train as both hands were occupied and as a result, was bumping into me, crumbs and coffee flying free.  Good morning to you too, ma'am.

Scenario number two: Last Saturday afternoon, 4:30PM.  I'm on a downtown 4 train, heading to my boyfriends apartment in Brooklyn.  The train is relatively empty, and I'm of course enjoying my spacious end seat, listening to my iPod and playing Sudoku on my Berry.  Suddenly, the dense smell of frying oil, saturated fat, and processed food fills the air.  I look up, and to my utter disgust there is a huge woman stuffing fast food into her face, licking her fingers and chewing with her mouth open.  I could not, as hard as I tried, hide the look of repulsion on my face. Not to mention, the smell was nauseating.

In both cases, here's my thing - what's the harm in waiting until you're at your desk or at home to eat your food in quiet seclusion? What is the sense of eating in a small, crowded space while attempting a balancing act, or on a dirty train ingesting germs and bacteria? In every case - NO ONE wants to watch you stuffing your face and filling your cheeks with food, or smell whatever it is you're eating mixed with the smell of the moldy underground.  Spare yourself this situation, and put your food away.

.BossBitch

Be Our Guest - Beauty and the Beast