Pole Huggers

The subway is a very agile and convenient mode of transportation if youre trying to get somewhere quickly or go somewhere far.  At busy times, everyone squeezes onto the train cars like it's rush hour in Tokyo (see this link for reference) .  My personal hell.  However, when the train is quiet, and you have your i-Pod, it's absolutely divine! And, on the rare occasion you get an edge seat, you can really cut loose and spread out! I'll get into more of my subway-isms later, but right now I NEED to address a certain subway rider.  They come in all shapes and sizes, and from all walks of life.  Old, young, short, tall, skinny, fat, male or female; I call them...Pole Huggers. 

Pole Hugger - noun:

1. a person who leans or wraps their entire body around the train pole, preventing others from holding on, or forcing others to squeeze their hand in and touch the pole huggers body in order to hold on...ew.

2. general annoyance.


Dear all Pole Huggers: I hate you. What ever happened to common courtesy? As much as you CLEARLY need to hang on for dear life, don't you think others would like the opportunity to casually hold on as well?  After all, we're on an underground rocket going 100 miles an hour through narrow tunnels with sharp turns, and you could go flying at any given moment if you're not careful.  Pole Huggers, please learn to just use one hand to hold on, and not your entire body. Believe me, it's still just as effective.  Be considerate of your fellow subway riders. Thanks, asshole.

Peace.Love.BossBitch

Subway To Venus - Red Hot Chili Peppers